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Joke of the Day
"Always remember that you're someone's reason to smile.. Because you are a joke."
Next Joke
"I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font."
"Spell check changed ""important"" to ""impotent"" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up."
"What do you call a friend who turns a wine glass into a candle holder? An acquaintance"
"What's the greatest birthday present? Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating."
"What do you call a dog that doesn't eat meat? A vegiterrier!"
"You'll know when it hits 0 degrees because all the Canadians will be wearing shorts, playing frisbee and BBQing outside."
"*puts finger over your lips* Shhhhhhhhhhhhh *feeds you more applesauce making airplane noises*"
"By all sensible rules of anatomy, if you have shit for brains, you shouldn't be alive. Science, people."
"When I was growing up my parents used to tell me that I can be anyone I wanted. Now the police call that Identity theft."