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Joke of the Day

"I gave my number to a really hot girl at the bar and told her to text me when she got home. She must have been homeless."

"Why can black people jump so high Because their knee grows."

"My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test."

"If I had a dollar for ever time someone told me my generation sucks.... Maybe I could pay my student loans."

"I had my work appraisal yesterday. The boss said, ""There is no I in team."" To which I replied, ""But there is a U in cu*t."""

"Please scan your first please place the item in please scan your rewards please slide your card in thank you for shopping with us"

"The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, ""Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"""

"A Muslim, an idiot, and a communist walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hello Mr.President."""

"Why did Hitler delay the invasion of Britain? The weather called for *Heil*"

"What's white on top and black on bottom? Society. Whats black on top and white on bottom? rape."