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Joke of the Day

"I was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling my boxers off when... ...my wife said, ""You spoil those dogs."""

"Do you remember that barbeque you had? The one where I had my meat all up on your grill?!?!?!"

"So I was in sex-ed class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently ""70"" was not the correct answer."

"Why are women bad at parking? Because they have a wrong perception of how long 20 centimeters are."

"Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!"

"Ok, all you people who adopt dogs and put ""who rescued who?"" stickers on your car... you drive me crazy! Clearly it's ""who rescued whom?"""

"I gave my friend 10 puns, hoping at least some would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours."

"I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty."

"A scuba diver brings a wetsuit to a dry cleaner..."