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Joke of the Day

"Ok but how old is your child in minutes?"

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"What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice? WATAAAAAR"
"What did the hot dog say on the toilet? Mustuuurd"
"My girlfriend was crying because she had gum in her hair. I told her to cut it out."
"Hub: You ready to go? Me: In a minute, I'm beating the kids. [Cut to me just decimating the kids at Mario Kart]"
"My girlfriend wants a Christmas Gift she can wear... I'm going to give her a facial."
"it's cool how the members of Anonymous are so good at computer stuff, but also wrote so many great poems and inspirational quotations."
"Advice needed, please, on cooking roadkill What do you do with the bike?"
"I need shocking, offensive, and disgusting jokes. I'm going back to school in a few days, so I need some fucked up jokes. Reddit Community give me your best."
"You're the Thelma to my Louise. The Ben to my Jerry. The Kanye to my Kanye."