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Joke of the Day

"We'll probably get a raging Boehner after the State of the Union address tonight."

"My most forced joke. How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out? By moving faux wood. Rimshot?"

"Marriage is for men who miss staying with their parents."

"I was ecstatic to have an out-of-body experience... ...in fact, I was beside myself."

"What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? A Cellfie."

"When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky? When it's raining Datsun cogs."

"How many Republicans does it take to screwin a light bub? Zero. They're so fucking dumb that none of them can screw a light bulb to begin with."

"How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom? They think outside the box."

"I'm white but I'm not ""exterminate or enslave millions of indigenous peoples then rewrite history into a bullshit heroic narrative"" white"

"Two women are sitting in a cafe discussing work.. One says to the other ""How do you like your job testing push-up bras?"" The other woman replies, ""It has its perks."""