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Joke of the Day

"They can only rescue about one miner per hour, while all the others wait? Who put the DMV in charge of this?"

"Knock Knock Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""The pilot, let me in."""

"Know what stops the Bern? Preparation H!"

"Why can't you ever trust a cat? Because they are always lion"

"[Biblical Times] God: oh shit Angel: what? God: I just realized I've been leaning on the frog button."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"I mentioned to my friend Hanz that today's the anniversary of the world trade center attacks. ""Nein, 11"" he said."

"I want to follow you back, really, I do. But the hash tags. My god the hash tags."

"If I was an engineer, I would turn emo. My inventions would be ""Cutting Edge"""

"The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about."