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Joke of the Day

"[Biblical Times] God: oh shit Angel: what? God: I just realized I've been leaning on the frog button."

"What's the best name for an atheist? Godfrey"

"What is the best Vitamin for friendship? B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency."

"Donald Trump's first act in office will probably be to illegalize all shredded cheese. He will Make America Grate Again."

"There something bugging me. I've encountered this object many times over in the streets lately. Every way I turn I see Weed.... les"

"Is it normal for a doctor who sees your penis to yell ""MAGNIFICENT!"" --it's not, right?"

"Sometimes I kidnap holes filled with water *Well, well, well... What have we here?*"

"""Time is of the essence"" Twitter: Hahaha nope"

"Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A2: By doing the splits."

"""Let the chips fall where they may."" -My kids when they're eating chips on the couch."