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Joke of the Day

"It's funny because it's true So a catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer. the end"

"My pastry factory has been pretty successful... So far we've had a good turnover."

"What goes great with noodles? COMPANY!"

"Can you believe Five Guys is a hamburger place and not an orgy store?! I'm too under dressed and overlubed to eat a hamburger now."

"What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs? Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers"

"I used to be a necrophiliac... til the rotten cunt split on me"

"I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice."

"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it takes nine visits."

"You're meeting identical triplets tonight. One's from the Army, one's a lifestyle Vegan, and one is a diehard Trump supporter. How do you tell them apart? Don't worry. They'll tell you."