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Joke of the Day

"I wish I were an octopus so that the answer to all of my problems would be, 'change color and escape in a cloud of ink'"

"Knock knock... ""Who's there"" ""Ya mum"""

"What do you call a cunt squared? A box."

"Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano? Having crabs on yer organ!"

"9/11 was terrible, just imagine what the people on that plane were going through... other than a building"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You may have thought 'Rrrr', but it's really the C"

"Why didn't blacks in 1850 give high-fives? Because everyone always left them hanging!"

"You shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since you walked there."

"Things presently more popular than Congress: - shingles - those annoying stickers they put on apples - tofurkey - bone fractures - road ham"

"The only thing worse than Friday the 13th, is Monday the 13th"