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Joke of the Day

"How many married women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Yeah right, like married women ever screw anything other than poolboys....."

"What's the difference between Jesus and other carpenters? Jesus may actually return some day."

"I painted my scanner black so it would run faster. Now it can't read."

"My doctor told me my testosterone level was unusually high. At least that's what I think he said, I could hardly hear him over the chainsaw."

"At my soccer game, the referee looked a lot like Edward Snowden... What a whistle blower."

"I won't be getting any sex tonight but I beat level 15 on Bejeweled so its pretty much just as good."

"Why didn't Hitler drink tequila? Because it made him mean."

"Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team? A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts."

"Isn't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means."

"My Dad told me ""always fight fire with fire""... And that's why he's no longer a fireman."