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Joke of the Day

"[first day as a server] me: how would u like your steak person: well done me: thank you that's so kind it's my first day & i'm very nervous"

"When the space shuttle gets back from its last mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?"

"For those who never forget a face, you are an exception."

"i just read this article...did you know 50% of asian business men have cataracts... the other half drive rincoln towncars"

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."

"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one."

"My friend and I were talking about food and he said ""I'm not a big Chinese guy"" and I was like ""I know you're not"""

"I spend half of my time thinking about fractions Well, not exactly half...."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile! XD"

"I have a kinship with a racist pumpkin. I'm Donald Trumpkin."