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Joke of the Day

"A man rushes into a psychiatrist's office and shouts ""Doctor, you have to help me! I think I'm invisible."" The shrink looks at his appointment schedule and says ""I'm sorry, I can't see you right now."""

"My boss: Are you on Twitter? Me: I've never heard of it. Is it a drug? Why would you ask? Am I acting funny? Maybe you're acting funny."

"When I was little I asked God for a bike. He didn't deliver so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead."

"Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, I found out Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them."

"If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know."

"What do you call an unconscious foot? Coma-toes! (I made up this joke when I was 10.)"

"Why do bees hum? Because they don't know the words!"

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. *I'm sorry I couldn't resist.*"

"two lesbians Lesbian 1: ""Hey! I finally found your dido!"" Lesbian 2: ""Great! I knew you had it in you!"""

"Why can a Cheetah not hide? Because it's always spotted."