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Joke of the Day

"Ebola has mutated! reports are coming in that the Ebola virus has mutated and become exponentially worse, in light of this mutation the virus will be renamed the Hyperbola Virus"

"Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know."

"So in conclusion, the burglars in Home Alone 2 absolutely would have died. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk"

"An asian woman gets into car and starts driving... thought you'd enjoy that one."

"What is the difference between a default subreddit mod and a radical feminist? Nothing."

"I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog and an empty gorilla enclosure... It was a shotzu."

"How many states of matter are there? 5: solids, liquids, gases, plasma, and black lives"

"I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng neck. I want to date a giraffe basically."

"I don't mind holding my wife's purse. It's the only time I get to be close to my balls."

"It's kinda like i'm a shopaholic but with alcohol instead of clothes."