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Joke of the Day

"I want a girl with a short skirt and a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng neck. I want to date a giraffe basically."

"I was Hungary... ...So I Russia down the stairs, made a Turkey sandwich and had a chocolate Malta for dessert."

"A blind guy walks into a bar... Bartender: ""What can I get you?"" Blind guy: ""I'll take a coke."" Bartender: ""Ice or no ice?"" Blind guy: ""No eyes...I'm blind you idiot!"""

"What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thinking of a joke when there's a worm in your apple"

"Brad Pitt: lets get back together Jennifer Anniston : We broke up 12 years ago!!! Brad pitt: We were on a break!"

"A woman was arrested yesterday for injecting her 8 year daughter with botox before a beauty pageant The child did not look surprised"

"""Dad, lil bro pooped on the floor!""nMe: Ok, just like we practiced. I'll hide in garage, you go tell Mommy. This convo never happened! GO!"

"What did one Snow Man say to the other? Hey, you smell carrots?"

"So apparently Robert Downy Jr came out as trans recently, I had a feeling he was Fe-male"

"Fuck you, Mike's. It's not ""Lemonade for Grownups,"" it's Beer for Babies."