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Joke of the Day

"A well timed ""Have a good day!"" can be a great substitute for ""Fuck you!"" in almost every situation."

"What are prostitutes paid? Loads"

"I watched Mad Max: Fury Road today."

"A funnier shorter vampire joke What did the vampire say to the woman teacher? Bla...bla..see you next period."

"What's a monkey's favorite snack? Rhesus Peanut butter cups!"

"Amazon Prime is seriously way better than Netflix. I love it almost as much as my Zune."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven's a six offender."

"Where does a dog go when his tail falls off? The retail store"

"A hot dog walks into a bar The bartender says, ""We don't serve sandwiches here."" The hot dog says, ""That's ok. I came for the roast beef."""

"I'm thinking of maybe giving up on my Olympic dream."