223906
Joke of the Day
"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back I don't know how big this thing gets!"
Next Joke
"A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She looks surprised and says I don't have a headache!"" He says ""Aha!"""
"Blondes.... Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken."
"[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING."
"Mayonnaise is cum. When you put it on a sandwich, you're spreading cum on your bread. When you ask for it on a burger, you ordered cum."
"A little lizard So a girl walks into a bar with a little lizard and the bartender asks her what she has in her hands. She replies that it's my newt."
"Stationary Thief Hits Police Headquarters: Police say they can't rule anything out."
"I asked a North Korean how his life was going... He said ""can't complain."""
"I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that's why the pioneers usually died so young."
"A fun way to give your man a little scare is to ask him, ""Do you know what tomorrow is?"" and watch the panic set in."