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Joke of the Day

"I inform my 4 year old that she's going to a friend's house 5 minutes before we leave so she only asks me when we're going 6000 times."

"[at doctor] can u cough for me please? *coughs* again please *coughs* i see i see. i'm afraid you have a cough"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You dont know, *coz you weren't there, man!*"

"Black Lumberjack What tool does a black lumberjack use? An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do?"

"I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing."

"Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ? On their feet !"

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"what did Obama say to Trump? show me your schlong form birth certificate"

"Woman: ""I'm a sucker for a man in a suit and tie."" Man: ""You had me at 'I'm a sucker'."""

"Couples who have been married for a long time start finishing off each other's sentences. The most popular being ""Shut up""."