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Joke of the Day

"When waiting for HIV test results, the main thing is to stay positive. Shamelessly based on a joke by /u/PS_FuckYouJenny"

"The Modern Police Force by Iris Tew"

"Some people are like Slinkys... Totally useless, but still fun to push down the stairs."

"Instagram makes me feel like the world's only employed person."

"""Ho, ho, ho!"" -Santa doing a head count"

"A black guy walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder The bartender then says ""Well that's special, where did you get it?"" ""Africa"" says the parrot"

"""if inventimg a machine that alows man to soar through the air is wrong, i dont want to be Wright"" - Wright brother, invemtor of airplabe"

"How do you reduce wind-drag on a musician's car? Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof"

"Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: ""Buy one dog, get one flea..."""

"Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth."