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Joke of the Day
"Instagram makes me feel like the world's only employed person."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says ""Oh darling! That was *wonderful*!"" The wife says ""Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige."""
"Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !"
"A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables the bartender says, buddy, I'll serve you as long as you don't start anything."
"Sometimes I think ""What would Dexter do""?"
"A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the ""Jump and run"" event."
"I'm like Jason Bourne, only I'm not looking for exits in each room.. I'm looking for outlets & phone chargers."
"What do you say to a woman with a black eye? Nothing. She's already been told."
"the easy way to tell between local police and state troopers is that state troopers usually have more brightly colored, magnificent feathers"
"I love it when a girl takes control. Birth control specifically."