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Joke of the Day

"A good way to help you determine who to weed out of your life is probably by how someone pronounces ""coyote""."

"CASHIER: what, no tip? ME: here's a tip: always wear a seat belt CASHIER: no, i meant money ME: oh sorry. invest in a 401(k)"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsssssssh"

"Where do famous snakes go? Down in hisssstory!"

"The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt."

"Pretty cool you had a healthy meal while I was eating the icing off an entire cake."

"What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack*, ""Darn!"" A skydiver goes ""Darn!"" *whack*"

"Why aren't there very many jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones? The punchline is too long."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"I saw in the newspaper that my town was searching for a pedophile. I called in thinking I could help but it turns out that it wasn't actually a job opening."