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Joke of the Day

"I take my women like I take my coffee. Really hot and all over my crotch while I'm driving."

"I just brushed a whole tooth without looking at twitter"

"My Dad should be in the Guinness Book Of World Records. I'm pretty sure no one has ever taken twenty seven years to go and get a pint of milk."

"What do you call a literary fish? Salmon Rushdie!"

"NASA's Scott Kelly is back on Earth after spending a year in space He found out how many states Trump won and left again"

"""Get off your high horse!"" - Veterinarian who prescribed medical marijuana."

"HOLY SHIT I JUST CORRECTLY GUESSED A WIFI PASSWORD AM I JESUS?"

"I met a Muslim biker once... He was the Sergeant at harams"

"How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead? You poker face!"

"Self esteem so low, you crop yourself out of your selfie."