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Joke of the Day

"Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning."

"What do you call a centaur that works as a prostitute? A whorse."

"7/11 was a part time job"

"A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. ""There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."" ""Who shall I call"" her husband asked ""police or ambulance?"""

"I almost had to go the hospital today because a stranger threw a can of Pepsi at me... I'm just glad it was a soft drink. Otherwise, I would have had to get surgery."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women... Underage and sexy."

"Yoga may be the key to your flexibility. Alcohol is the key to mine."

"Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks Are you two sisters? They laughed and replied, No we're not even Catholic."

"gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos. what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine."

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."