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Joke of the Day

"[plumber] well here's your problem.. *keeps pulling tied handkerchiefs from toilet* [magician] it was like that when I bought the house"

"French-related joke (semi nsfw) When does a Frenchman get his morning wood? A bonne heure."

"Poor Brain... It got to named itself, but was dyslexic, so Brian it was not."

"Where do doctors put blood that can't be used because it is too fluorescent? In the haemo glow bin."

"Marriage is like Comcast. Frustrating as hell and once a month you get screwed."

"If a person told you they were a pathological liar, should you believe them?"

"Why did the cup fall over? Because it was drunk."

"I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?"

"England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool"

"I was screwing this African woman last night, she kept yelling the N word It was really hard to concentrate with her screaming no the entire time"