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Joke of the Day

"Two elephants are in a bathtub..... One says to the other, ""pass the soap"". The other elephant promptly responds, ""no soap, radio!"""

"Nike's thought when considering whether or not to participate in the FIFA bribe scandal... Just do it"

"What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat."

"Yelling at a dog... Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work. The dog just probably thinks, 'Awesome, now we are both barking!'"

"""I didn't see you in church last Sunday Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."" ""That's not true vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"""

"Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said ""Look at that dog with one eye!"" The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes ""Where?"""

"Mum: ""OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!"" Me: ""Madness?! NO... THIS IS SPARTA!!"" *Kicks Mum*.."

"I'm never tired. They call me Ironman"

"Why were you late ? Sorry teacher I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !"

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? You put it in the oven until its Bill Withers."