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Joke of the Day

"""I didn't see you in church last Sunday Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead."" ""That's not true vicar. And I've got the fish to prove it!"""

Next Joke
 
"My heart says cheese dip but my jeans say for the love of god woman eat some celery."
"How do farmers find their sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying!!"
"Hahaha you're killing me. ~Me to this cigarette."
"I just watched Harry Potter for the first time and it was a little unrealistic I mean, a ginger with two friends?"
"So I just flashed my hard drive. Though why showing my computer my schlong is meant to speed it up I'll never know."
"First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)"
"turns out the 'kkk' are not just a group of guys who are very agreeable in their text messages :("
"What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAAIIINNNNSS!!! :D"
"Where does the military commander buy his groceries? the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY"