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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to thank my skeletal system for all the support its given me over the years."

"A guy at work lost his thumb and had to replace it with his big toe. (True Story) Now we ask to get ""your foot off the table"" when he's eating."

"I don't always try to use big words but when I do, I accidentally tell a mother her toddler was a necrophiliac today instead of narcoleptic."

"TIL 6.7 billion people are the minority By arrogant ignorant Americans."

"I met a guy the other day with a glass eye. He didn't tell me, it just came out in the conversation"

"Freud had it wrong, women don't have penis envy, men have boob envy. Explains the obesity epidemic and my need to breastfeed daily."

"What about a To-Don't List?"

"Confuse future archeologists by burying your pets in elaborate military uniforms."

"Can anyone teach me how to finger a minor? I need to work on my guitar skills."

"Why did the gynecologist take a vacation out of the country? To study abroad."