38038

Joke of the Day

"Don't judge me for my race, don't judge me for my gender. Judge me because I've read all four of the Twilight books."

"We're equally riveted by stories like the Chilean miners (33 men, 1 hole) & Tiger Woods (1 man, 33 holes)."

"At the Playboy Mansion I bet they serve fancy whore d'oeuvres before the main intercourse."

"My girlfriend is the best hooker in the country All her fellow rugby players agree."

"I just wish I was rich enough to be able to throw all of the pots and pans away after I cook."

"The village people asked all the wrong questions I mean... Why not MCA?"

"What is the difference between an egg and a redditor? Eggs get laid at least once."

"A horse walks into a bar... A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"". The horse doesn't understand, s***s on the floor and walks out."

"Mom: Did we pack everything? The stupid baby monitor? Dad: Ugh I hate that annoying dumb thing! Tiny Monitor Lizard: Ok wow I'm right here"

"Math is sad. It takes hours to try to prove your point, but only one counterexample to destroy everything. Much like my marriage."