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Joke of the Day

"My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?"

"Why couldn't they find the cheesemaker after the accident? He was trapped under da-Brie!"

"How can you spell too much with two letters? XS (excess)."

"What do you get if you cross a pitbull and a hooker? Your last blowjob."

"Do you know what the problem with toilets is? They're a pisstake."

"Radio One has banned its DJs from playing Madonna songs, saying that at 56 she is old and irrelevant. Yeah, at the BBC they only like them young."

"[Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't"

"I'm starting an Atheist corporation... it's a non-prophet organization."

"The thin,healthy, smart people are really missing out on some horrible food at Burger King."

"What's a mass in your body that is really helpful? A cyst!"