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Joke of the Day

"Lame joke I made one night. What do you get when you mix a cat and a blender? A visit from the cops."

"Q: How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash? A: She's the one on her bike."

"How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"A deaf guy walks into a bar... A deaf guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" Deaf guy says, ""I'll have a beer."""

"How does a coat steal something? They jacket"

"What is the difference between an amateur archer and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit... The other hoots but can't shit."

"Dad, what is a cross-dresser? Ask your mother, he knows."

"Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a flask of whiskey, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter."

"What is it called when an exchange student goes to Malaysia? Euthanasia."

"What's the worst thing about your girlfriend having a miscarriage? Trying to look upset."