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Joke of the Day
"How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."
Next Joke
"Lance Armstrong, Oscar Pistorius, Tiger Woods all sponsored by Nike. Perhaps they should change there slogan to ""Don't do it!"""
"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."
"How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ? Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !"
"Me: Can't. I'm exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It's pronounced 'croissant' & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?!"
"Some people won't try bacon for religious reasons. I won't try religion for bacon reasons."
"If I had a dime for every time I quoted the movie Blazing Saddles... I would have a shitload of dimes."
"I just realized something about how I browse Reddit"
"""That's what"" -She"
"Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?"