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Joke of the Day

"The only thing worse than finding your girlfriend on Tinder... Is your girlfriend finding you."

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"Why was the umbilical cord sad? He got cut from the naval base."

"What does the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!"

"I couldn't find you any new tampons. but I managed to pull a few strings..."

"What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ? She lays hand gren-eggs !"

"I have decided to run a marathon and have taken up vaping instead of smoking You could say I am running on fumes."

"My neighbour came back home drunk and has been knocking at his door for over 3hours now. But he stays alone, should i go and tell him that he is not around?"

"Two guys walk into a bar... you would think the second guy would duck."

"A person walks into a bar. Ouch."