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Joke of the Day

"What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ? She lays hand gren-eggs !"

"Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go."

"Trump after Obama is like Umbridge after Dumbledore. R.I.P"

"I went to the zoo this past weekend. The only animal they had was a dog... it was a shih tzu."

"What's black and sits on top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"What type of lights were on Noah's Ark? You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!"

"Day 1: Brad wears no pants Day 2: Brad wears no pants Day 3: Brad wears no pants ... ... This is just a bottomless Pitt"

"I fostered a child the other day ...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!"

"What is the frequency of a broken tailbone? My butt Hz."

"I hate autocorrect... It turns my writing into a total duckfest."