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Joke of the Day
"Why was the umbilical cord sad? He got cut from the naval base."
Next Joke
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!"
"What do Foghorn Leghorn and Donald Trump have in common? They're both big racist cocks"
"I can't believe I have to recharge my stupid phone every night or it shuts down *sleeps for 8 hours every night*"
"I like my women the way I like my coffee. Yup, I like blonde slutty coffee with low self esteem."
"I only drink a little, but when I do, I turn into another person... ...and that person drinks a lot."
"What do you call fake pasta? An impasta"
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a used car sales person? The used car sales person knows they are lying."
"It's so cute. My kids always say ""I want to help you, Daddy!"" because they don't know the word ""hinder""."
"What do Brits call a fleshlight? A blowtorch."