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Joke of the Day

"Hubby's ex emailed him wanting to ""reconnect"". I wanna pretend to be him & set it up so I can re CONNECT my foot up her ass"

"Two fish are swimming upstream and one of the fish hits his head against concrete. He looks to the other, and says ""dam"""

"Watching my dad try to scroll through pictures on my phone is like watching someone trying to pet a bubble."

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

"I don't think it's nice to make fun of schizophrenics. And neither do I."

"Why is the Energizer Bunny such a slut? He takes 2 Ds at the same time"

"For the last time, I'm not racist! I specifically called it African American Friday!"

"(NSFW) What's a vagina's favorite type of music? Cuntry!"

"Did you hear about the blind woman in a gangbang? She didn't know what came over her."

"Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive- Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"