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Joke of the Day

"I feel for Hillary Clinton The FBI found a server in my basement too. She was from Hooters I think."

"TIL an African grey parrot, who lives an incredibly long life, can learn up to the vocabulary of an 8 year old. So when do you have the sex talk?"

"What did the DNA say to the other DNA? ""Do these genes make me look fat?"""

"What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants? Donald Trunk."

"Mad Man Wife: How would you feel if I die? Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you? Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!"

"Im opening a DIY whorehouse. It's called ""Go fuck yourself""."

"And then God made Saturn. And he liked it, so he put a ring on it."

"I took my boat out the other day and it made sounds as if it were sick. So I took it to the dock."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family"

"Everybody is somebody else's weirdo."