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Joke of the Day

"My dog Minton just ate my shuttle cock. Bad Minton."

"Out of all Katherine Heigl films, I enjoyed the one where she starts with being a prude but ends up having fun with a guy and falls in love."

"Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom? Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music."

"I'm sorry, we can't hire you. But your background check was hilarious."

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care!"

"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."

"Why do they say ""be there or be square""? because if you are square, you are not around."

"Pizza is like sex If you're going to use barbecue sauce, you need to know what you're doing."

"A joke about 'The Interview' Nobody fucking cares."

"If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me."