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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Bolt can finish a race."

"Why is a divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"That's a lot of votes Donald Would be a shame if someone deleted them..."

"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"

"My sensitive toothpaste can't stop crying."

"What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man? A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)"

"So my girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter. Well, I've got some news for her."

"Honestly, guys, I think I've made the perfect woman this time. She's made totally out of waffles. And her clitoris is on her forehead."

"My stepdad hates it when I call him Bernie... He's really sensitive a about his scars..."

"Any ideas for how I can repair some torn duct tape?"