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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Bolt can finish a race."

"I've got an Uncle Rube. I mean he's really my mother's sister's roommate's friend's hairdresser's step-dad, but the effect is the same."

"Sorry I tried to strengthen my immune system by asking your wife to breast feed me."

"Portland is on fire and the nearest Trump voter is 300 miles away. Democrats have a terrible ground game."

"What do they call the lottery in Africa? Celebrity adoption."

"My Wife and I are into S&M.. Edit: Typo: M&M. We like M&Ms."

"Why did the sushi cross the road? Sushi could get to the other side."

"Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump."

"Stare at the waitress's boobs when you tell her you want ""everything"" on your sandwich. Ya never know..."

"This list is unbelievable! Number 3 is just SHOCKING; Wait till you see what number 2 is and what tops this list is just amazing! Unbelievable List: 1. Amazing 2. 3. Static electricity"