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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a small vagina and a douchey midget? One is a runty cunt and the other is a cunty runt."

"Save yourself from a sexual harassment case. If a fellow employee asks, ""Do you know a place I can get Off?"". They may just need some bug spray."

"I asked my friend to try and jump start my car. Fat bastard smashed my windshield."

"So you guys heard about this MySpace thing?"

"Hey, did you hear about the road paver who got fired? He couldn't even."

"Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep."

"Procrastination is like masturbation It awesome until you realize that you've fucked yourself."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin looks at the other and says ""Man its hot in here"" the other muffin looks back ans says ""Holy Shit a talking Muffin"""

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie? Disney movies can still touch little kids."

"A dslexic man walked into a bra. His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event."