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Joke of the Day
"The thing people don't understand about how clickbait works"
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"Halo? more like..... GAYLO!!!!!!!"
"I admire the way that, even with millions of followers, celebrities on Twitter rarely succumb to the pressure to be funny."
"I think my abs look pretty good for a mother of 2 kids. I don't have kids."
"All I want in this world is some one I can turn to and yell, ""Avenge Me!!"" if I'm dying or wrongly accused of a crime. Oh and rocket shoes"
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."
"Headline: ""Russian Jet Shot Down by Turkey"" My 1st thought was, ""Holy shit the bird has gone Rambo."" I must have Thanksgiving on my mind."
"How much do drum shaped sofas cost? 5 dollars per-cushion."
"Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you've got? Me: She sold the Saudis the jets that are massacring Yemenis Clinton fan: Emails? That's all you"
"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"