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Joke of the Day

"Doctor doctor I feel so short! No problem. Hop up on the couch."

"I just read this article about short term memory I don't remember what it was about"

"How many tweakers does it take to change a lightbulb? Who wants to know?"

"How are your step mother and a 17 in the card game 21 similar? You know you can't but you really want to hit it."

"Whilst at college I did experiment with marijuana. I did it in snow, I did it in sleet, but I did not in hail. ^-- ^Ed ^Byrne"

"My mom texted me asking what ""DTF"" meant and I told her ""Dedicated To Family""...I seriously can't wait for her to use it."

"In 7 seasons I've never seen a single motherfucker on Top Chef wash their hands."

"Ate at w pho restaurant and based on my waitress' facial reaction I'm not sure if I asked for a fork or killed her entire family"

"""I saved this for thirty years so I could give it to you and you could throw it out."" - Moms"

"Why did the computer crash? It had a bad driver"