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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes my girlfriend is so annoying. ""Do you think I'm pretty? Do you think I'm pretty?"" Why doesn't she just answer me?"

"I can't control my urge to pull tube tops down."

"[ouija board] ""helo??"" YOUR... SPIRIT... ""shh its working"" WILL... APPEAR... ""omg"" AFTER... THIS... AD... ""dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!"""

"What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine ? I'm font of you."

"What is as big as King Kong but doesn't weigh anything? King Kong's shadow."

"Canada's navy"

"What's the difference between a toilet and a sink? Titanic didn't toilet."

"Non-lactating cows are milk duds."

"Eating Doritos and watching Judge Judy in my underpants. Whoa! Dude! Why is Judge Judy in my house? And why is she wearing my underpants??"

"About 90% of people do not know the opposite of these words... Always Coming From Take Me Down"