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Joke of the Day

"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""

"Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for 'Old Spice'?"

"What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common? They both made the news for not being straight."

"I'm glad I haven't seen any German sausage jokes.. they are just the wurst!"

"Give a man a cow, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to cow, and you've probably invented some crazy new dance called the cow'."

"What did the bean say to the other bean? How you been?"

"""What are you doing, dad?"" ""Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling ""non-extraditable countries"". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"""

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? NINE!"

"Why do you get arrested for walking into an army base unauthorised in the USA? Because Obama doesn't like anyone sneaking in his barracks."

"I think Diane knows I was her Secret Santa at this morning's office party, because this afternoon I had to borrow my stapler back from her."