588

Joke of the Day

"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday."

"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."

"How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One will see you later and one will see you in a while."

"My dog stared at me for 10 minutes. Then, like magic, I knew he had to poop. And now, I have my own psychic show on A&E.;"

"When I run the media, ""blue"" and ""red"" states will be renamed ""Crate & Barrel"" and ""Cracker Barrel"" states."

"Don't feel sad...don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too..."

"What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church? Nun is better!"

"Taking to people about your child abuse experience is the toughest part. The last time i did it, i had to spend 7 years in jail."

"A short facts list 1) 50% of facts are made up 2) I made up the first fact"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a vagina? Nothing. They are both cunts!"