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Joke of the Day

"Oompa Loopa Doopity Doo Here's an executive order for you..."

"A snake walks into a bar and the bartender says ""How did you do that?"""

"What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man? One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole."

"I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives. Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves"

"My parents wanted to name me Odysseus because I, too, broke through the Trojan wall."

"For The Musicians: What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull? On a bull, the horns are at the front, and the ass hole is at the back."

"What's the difference between a church bell & a church? A church bell peals from the steeple."

"Jimmy, your composition ""My Dog"" is the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? No, sir. It's the same dog."

"A virus that wipes out every photo filter across the internet but leaves the photos."