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Joke of the Day

"Jimmy, your composition ""My Dog"" is the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? No, sir. It's the same dog."

"Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip."

"Mommy, what are these? ""Put them back they are sleeping pills!"" Oh, then you shouldn't yell ""Why?"" [whispering] YOU'LL WAKE THEM UP"

"(sees someone doing a texas chainsaw massacre) um can you not"

"What is an Italian mobster's favorite cooking oil? Cannoli Oil."

"So, there's a chicken and a frog in a library... The chicken shouts: ""Bok!"" The frog replies: ""Reddit!"""

"My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang"

"First day as a drug dealer. Made a ton of sales. Boy are people forgetful, they all left their wallets at home.Gonna be rich tomorrow though"

"What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers? A cannibull..ha..ha..?"

"What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia? You get stoned."