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Joke of the Day

"A snake walks into a bar and the bartender says ""How did you do that?"""

"So my wife discovered I keep writing ""please help me"" in the memo line of all my personal checks and now I'm not allowed to have checks."

"CUSTOMER: Can you make a pig shake? WAITER: Tell him the wolf is coming."

"So I heard that the hackers ""Anonymous"" are waging war on ISIS and al-Qaeda... Quite ironic that 72 virgins will be attacking the terrorists!"

"I searched deep in the anals of history and found nothing but shit... Or ""The annals of history are mostly full of shit..."" *maybe that can be an adage or something?"

"How do you make a cat go woof Throw it in a fire (i know i know dad joke)"

"a well educated penis is one that rises so the lady can sit down"

"Is ""drunk"" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...."

"Not every badly unkempt guy is homeless. It could well be that he lives with 3 females and only 1 bathroom."

"I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me."