222975

Joke of the Day

"""You break it, you buy it""... Uh, hell no. I break it, I leave it, and awkwardly walkout.."

"An art teacher comes across a badly made nude painting. What does she say? ""This butt a scratch!"""

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"Why do record collectors have bad sex lives? They're always complaining about the 10"" they don't have."

"(BAD JOKE) Did someone say pretzels? Yes, you just did"

"When is there two Ds in ""her?"" http://imgur.com/Rmc4pha"

"How do you tell a joke about ISIS? It's all about the execution"

"Tonight I saw a truck spin out in a snowy McDonalds parking lot, and honestly it was doing a much better job of being president."

"I told my mom that I have an Oedipus complex. She asked if I was serious. I told her, ""Nah, I'm just fucking with you."""

"""My wife's having a relationship with the Speaker of the House of Representatives"" ""Boehner?"" ""No, she assures me it's completely platonic."""