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Joke of the Day

"Why do record collectors have bad sex lives? They're always complaining about the 10"" they don't have."

"Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny? Because they are always losing pounds."

"Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas."

"I was going to tell an original joke about fences... but then I decided to repost"

"*Neighbor text - Sorry for using your wife. Use only when you're not at home* *Shoots Wife* *Neighbor text again - I mean 'Wifi' not wife*"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino!"

"I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes."

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"""Hey baby ditch the zero *stares silently until lenses transition into sunglasses* and get with the hero."""

"Did you hear about the Rabbi who showed up to the circumcision drunk? He got the sack."