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Joke of the Day
"*looking at a picture* Wow, you have beautiful children! Thank you, they came with the frame."
Next Joke
"Was at a pretty emotional wedding last week... ... Even the cake was in tiers!"
"I like to buy books, but I never read them. I just want them for my shelf."
"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."
"Who had the best dinner with Megyn Kelly after the Fox Republican Debate? Dracula."
"I just invented a new word: plagiarism."
"Working at the aluminum recycling plant is the saddest job I've ever had... ... It's just soda pressing."
"I'd make a political joke but it would just end up being elected president Ba Dum Tss"
"You know those people who only tweet once every couple of days? What do they have going on that I don't? I mean, besides a life."
"If you say ""gullible"" slowly it sounds just like ""orange"""