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Joke of the Day

"How many members of a particular ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Enough to reinforce my negative stereotype about them."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves? Russell."

"So yet another snake walks into a bar... He asks the bartender, ""Gimme a shot of Jack!"" ""No sir."" ""Well why not?"" The snake said. ""You can't hold your liquor!"""

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

"How many feminists? How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"Why is Uncle Sam's penis Blue and White? You supply the red."

"What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter."

"Before you say you ""value my opinion,"" just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3."

"What do you call a hooker with no limits? Your mom."

"My 3 moods: 1. I'm too tired for this shit 2. I'm too old for this shit 3. I'm too sober for this shit"